How to Write a Groom Speech

You’re getting married! Many congratulations.

But in addition to the excitement, I’ll bet that nerves about giving your Groom speech are kicking in.

Not only do you have to speak in front of all your friends and family, but there’s also an entire speech to write first!

Fortunately, writing your speech is not too difficult, as long as you leave enough time to prepare and you follow a structured approach.

Following the steps below will make writing your Groom speech as painless as possible.

Step 1: Clarify the Important Details

Before starting your speech, ensure you know all the details about when and how the speeches will take place at your wedding.

Although you may already be familiar with most of the specifics (it’s your wedding after all!) quickly check with your spouse-to-be or wedding coordinator about any remaining questions.

Here are a few things you should clarify:

• Who else will speak at your wedding, and in what’s the planned order? (1)
• Where do the speeches fall in the overall wedding schedule? (e.g., after dinner but before dancing)
• Will you use a microphone, or will you need to project your voice?
• Will there be a separate “MC” to introduce each speaker or will you take on that role yourself?

(1) Traditionally, it’s the Father of the Bride, then the Groom (that’s you), and then then Best Man but these days there may be additional or alternative roles too.)

Step 2: Brainstorm a Few Initial Ideas

Once you’re clear how your big day will run, it’s time to generate some raw material and ideas for your speech content.

First, write down any thoughts, memories or messages that come easily to mind that you might want to include.

(At this stage, you’re just capturing ideas, not trying to structure them.)

You can use these questions to guide your brainstorming:

• What memories of your relationship stand out?
• What do you most admire and appreciate about your wife-to-be?
• What would you like to say directly to her on this special day?
• What are the ways in which you complement each other well?
• What hopes would you like to express for your future together?

You can jot down notes by hand or type them into a document on your computer.

Tip: Try using sticky notes if writing by hand — it will make organizing your thoughts easier later.

Step 3: Choose a Speech Structure

Next. decide on a basic outline to follow for structuring your speech. This will serve as a helpful guide for organising your ideas.

There are many possible structures you can use. The right one for you will depend on what you want to say and how you want to say it.

Some options include:

• Short and simple: Opening, First Meeting Story, Appreciation, Well Wishes, Toast
• Comprehensive: Opening, How You Met, Why You Love Her, Fond Memories, Hope for the Future, Toast
• Story-driven: Opening, Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Common Themes, Toast
• Personal Qualities: Opening, Quality 1 + examples, Quality 2 + examples, Quality 3 + examples
• Novelty: For instance you could structure your speech as a Yelp review, or a business presentation, or a fairy story.

Once you select an outline, create headings or sections for the main points you’ll cover.

Tip: If using sticky notes, write each section heading on a separate sheet to organise your notes.

Step 4: Organise Your Content

Using your chosen outline, start grouping your brainstormed ideas and thoughts under the appropriate speech sections.

Move your sticky note ideas around or cut and paste your digital notes to reorganise the flow.

Don’t worry about getting it perfect first time. You’re really just trying to get a feel for the material you have and how well it fits into the structure you’ve chosen.

You’ll probably find you have too much content for some sections and not enough for others. Which means you may need to generate some additional ideas to fill any gaps.

The goal of this step is populating the main sections of your speech with the ideas that you intend to cover.

Step 5: Write the First Draft

Once you’ve roughly organised the sections and ideas, it’s time to write out the first full draft of your speech.

(Even if you don’t plan to memorise it word-for-word, writing a complete draft allows you to refine the messaging and transitions between sections.)

I recommend typing your draft out on your computer, as it will be easier to move things around and make revisions later.

Use document headings for each of your major sections and short paragraphs or bullet points for your ideas.

Then start to expand the individual ideas into fuller sentences and paragraphs you might use in your speech.

Tip: These days, most writing software will have some kind of built-in speech recognition. You can use this to verbally expand each of your ideas.

Again, don’t worry too much about the exact phrasing of each part of your speech. It’s more about getting something down onto the page.

Most writers will tell you that editing is much easier than writing so the quicker you can get a very rough version of your speech completed the better.

Here are some questions to guide you while editing:

• Are the individual sections of my speech well balanced in terms of the content (and length of speaking time)?
• Does each section flow smoothly into the next or do I need to add some transitional sentences?
• Is the basic structure working well overall or do I need to go back and consider a different template?

The goal of this step is having a rough draft of approximately the right length that covers most of the ground you want to cover in your speech.

Step 6: Practice and Refine

Once you have a solid first draft completed, start practising your speech out loud and make refinements.

Practicing in front of the mirror is a bit of a cliché and doesn’t work for everyone but why not give it to go?

Another option is to put your smartphone on a small tripod or prop it up against something and film yourself delivering your speech to camera, then review your performance afterwards.

It’s common to find that some sections don’t quite flow as naturally when spoken aloud as they do on the page. Make notes on areas that need rewording or tightening up.

Note: This is an iterative process — practice reading it, then make adjustments, then read again. Repeat this cycle until it feels polished.

Once you’re happy with how it reads aloud, consider doing a practice run with a friend or family member to get feedback before your final revisions.

Note: Time yourself reading the speech, and make sure it fits within the allotted time at your wedding. Adjust content as needed.

Go Write Your Groom Speech!

Now you know how you write your Groom speech, you can just follow these steps and you’ll have a heartfelt, well-structured Groom speech in no time.

The most important thing is to start early and break the task down into manageable steps.

Before you know it, you’ll have a speech that you feel confident to deliver and will put a smile on everyone’s faces.